For the love of L'oeuf

When the breakfast chef last week walked out of the kitchen to take the day off, I assumed that he’d be back after a week’s break but it has dawned on me that he has walked out of the restaurant permanently. So now I have been promoted to breakfast chef during the mornings - without any training for breakfast. This is absolute madness! Apparently chefs walk out of restaurants so often that there are agencies who will supply chefs at the last minute and charge a premium for this service.

Differentiating Cooked eggs from Raw:
To find out whether an intact egg is raw or already cooked, spin it on its side. If it spins fast and smoothly, it’s cooked. If it seems balky and wobbly, it’s raw – the liquid contents of the raw egg slip and slosh and resist the movement of the solid shell. (McGee)

A repairman came today to fix the grill so taking advantage of the chance meeting, I found out that Goldstein equipment are the most reliable in the market.

For perfectly poached eggs: Break each egg into a cup to ensure the yolk is intact. Fill a saucepan with water about 10 cm deep and add enough vinegar (1 tbsp vinegar to 1 litre water) and/or salt to taste, having it at a gentle boil. This raises the temperature of the water, ensuring that the egg white cooks before it feathers out into the water, forming a nice bag. Cook the egg for 3-4 minutes and remove using a slotted spoon. Drain on a folded tea towel before serving.

Another instance of the cutthroat restaurant business: Some asshole owners will try to hire staff and put them on permanent staff wages that are much lower than casual rates. But when the restaurant is quiet, they will send these staff members back early so that at the end of the day, the staff wages are cut back. In other occasions, you may be put on a fixed salary but are asked to do much more hours and so at the end of the day you may end up working for only $10 an hour on average.

The chemical change in rotten eggs: Both the yolk and the white get more alkaline with time. This is because the egg contains carbon dioxide, which takes the form of carbonic acid when it is dissolved in the white and yolk, but is slowly lost in its gaseous form through the pores in the shell. The yolk rises from a slightly acidic pH of 6.0 to nearly neutral 6.6, while the albumen goes from somewhat alkaline 7.7 to a very alkaline 9.2 and sometimes higher (McGee).

The Pernicious Leprosy of Politics

Despite swapping your power suits for chef whites, you can never escape politics. The commercial kitchen is no different but probably more uncivilized. If The King (i.e. the Executive/Head Chef) says something offensive, you just take it (this is when yoga and meditation are actually useful). God help you if you answer back (even if it is to clarify or explain the situation) because you will appear insubordinate and nothing you say will change The King’s mood. So in order to survive His Majesty’s wrath, you associate yourself with the second most important person in the kitchen kingdom – the Sous Chef.

In the kitchen kingdom, the Executive Chef is completely territorial over his kitchen staff. All kitchen staff is accountable to him, not the Restaurant Manager (which is why you would probably notice these two arguing regularly).

Chef ranks (with descending importance)

Chef de Cuisine: Restaurants are named after them and they conceive the dishes. They are rarely in the kitchen.

Executive Chef: Runs the whole kitchen and revamps the menu. Performs all the administrative tasks, including hiring and firing the staff. Interacts with the dining room managers.

Sous Chef: Always does the hands-on work in the kitchen. Comes up with the daily specials, takes inventory and watches over the staff.

Expeditor: Ensures all the food gets to the wait staff in a timely fashion. Requires coordination and timing.

Pastry Chef: Shares the same level as the sous chef but in the pastry section

Line Cooks/ Chef de Partie/ Station Chef: Actually cooks your food. These sections are either divided by cooking technique or type of food.

Chef de garde-manger: Works at the cold station (e.g. salads, terrines & sometimes desserts)

Chef de Partie

Commis Chef: The lowly apprentice who works under the Chef de Partie)

Demi Chef: Chef who has completed the apprenticeship

Kitchen steward/ hand: Washes the dishes and cleans kitchen.

In Sydney, a restaurant cannot admit cheap apprentices if it does not have a qualified chef.

My corn fritters sold out on Sunday! I now have to make larger batches before The King asks for the recipe for the fourth time. Every time he asks me for the recipe fortunately something urgent happens in the kitchen so I have managed to skirt around the issue quite successfully. I am not sure how long I can hold out but it is now my future bargaining chip.

The Origins of My Obsession

My earliest recollection in the kitchen was when I was four years old and Dad would prop me on top of the kitchen stool to stir fry the wok. I also remember that his first birthday present to me was a 15 cm non-stick frying pan and many weekends were spent roaming the aisles of the home wares department. My father was a brilliant cook and he too expressed his affection for us by filling the Lazy Susie with food and waited patiently for the entire family to gather around the dinner table. Nothing was ever simple or non-fattening. Mom would complain that there was either too much food or it was very oily but we always enjoyed Dad’s dinners. I believe my love for fat-loaded comfort food stemmed from Daddy’s influence (which is why the profit margins of my future kitchen would be directly related to the price of butter and oil).

Seasoning a new wok: Fry some freshly grated coconut in the wok until it is dry. Discard the pulp and rinse the wok. Next, rub an onion half on the inner surface of the pan. Bruise the onion and then fry it in 2 Tbsp oil. Discard the onion and rinse the wok. Some old wives would also advise you to then fry fish and potatoes to improve and season the inner surface of the wok further.

The nanny at that time was called Big Sister Yoke Mui and whenever I wanted to cook, she had to supervise me because I was not allowed to light up the gas stove by myself. When I was finally taught to operate the stove by the time I reached six, I would modify my share of the nanny’s cooking during dinner, to Yoke Mui’s offence. This also sparked many occasions where I would experiment in the kitchen with whatever ingredients that I could get my hands on. Despite the huge mess that I made, Yoke Mui was extremely patient with me.

Yoke Mui decided to go back to live with her own family after staying with us for years and I was heartbroken when she was about to leave. I remember crying and begging for her to stay, trying to bargain like any 10 year old would. Her final words to me were not “Listen to your parents” or “Study hard”. She hugged me and said, “When you uncover boiling pots, make sure that the lids face the other way to shield your face from the hot steam”.

When purchasing new pots, always choose one with a heavy base because it retains the heat better and provides even heating. If you have an induction stove, pretty copperware will not work on this surface. The general rule for compatible pots is that if the material can adhere onto magnetic surfaces, it is able to transfer the heat from the induction stove.

The Business Man vs The Artist: "What is this? A #&cking steakhouse?!"

In the kitchen that I am working in, I can classify the chefs into two categories. In one group, the chefs just work for the sake of working and cut corners to keep the restaurant business afloat. They are the utilitarians who just have to put steak and potatoes on the menu to cater for the general public. They are also the ones that cheat and use Chinese wonton skins to make ravioli (and the dumb patrons can’t tell the difference).

Then there is the other group of chefs who are more interesting. They are the true artists in the kitchen who come up with the most bizarre and beautiful combinations. These chefs, despite earning pauper wages, will visit the top restaurants to explore what their creative peers are producing. I know one in particular who is so passionate about his craft and gets insulted when someone orders a steak sandwich in which he sarcastically replies, “Do you want fries with that? And would you like to upsize your meal? What is this? A fucking steakhouse?!!”. I truly feel his pain. I think that when he leaves (I am pretty sure that he will eventually) and open up his own restaurant, he is one of those chefs to watch closely.

There is a constant battle between these two groups. On one side, you have to be sensitive about the costs to make money but on the other side, you also want to be creative to set yourself apart from the rest. In my view, why not be creative and if people like your food, they wouldn’t mind paying a little bit extra to experience something different.

Mirepoix (Large & Small): Cut the vegetables into pieces of the same approximate size. The longer the vegetables will be cooked, the larger the pieces of mirepoix. Large mirepoix is primarily used in stocks and small mirepoix in the making of sauces.

The poultry suppliers tried to screw us over today following Tuesday’s debacle on the lukewarm meats. He claimed that the meats were not frozen because they just slaughtered the birds that morning and sent it to us first thing. However, when the Sous chef filleted one of the birds, he noticed that the middle was still frozen so he knew that the supplier was trying to pull a fast one on us.

Besides dishonest suppliers, restaurants also have to put up with dishonest patrons who try to complain about the smallest detail to get a free meal. We had 4 covers today and although they complained about the bread not being toasted properly, they cleaned out their entire plates (including the bread) and walked out without paying.

Another challenge which kitchens face is consistency, which is why a good executive chef would demonstrate the dish to everyone in the kitchen and leave pictures of the food presentation along with its recipe to follow to a T.

Oblique cut: This cut is used on elongated vegetables such as carrots and parsnips. Starting at the narrow end of each vegetable cut a diagonal piece about 1/3 inch long, with the knife blade pointing away from you at a 45-degree angle. Roll the vegetable a quarter turn and cut another piece at the same angle. Repeat the process until the vegetable widens. Slice in half lengthwise and continue to turn and cut. If the pieces become too large, cut lengthwise again to keep pieces equal in size (Keller 2007).

Stop! Don't order the salad!

What I am going to say may put you off eating at a restaurant (but it wouldn’t matter if you absolutely loved food and/or you just can’t cook for shits). There is nothing healthy about food here. Everything has got at least 3 times the amount of fat than you think it does. In Western cooking, chefs cook by the bars of butter instead of grams and even in “healthy” Asian stir-fries, either the meat or the vegetables are deep-fried before they are stir-fried. “Ah ha! Then I will just stick to the salads” you might quip but think again. I have worked in three restaurants now (2 of them were in the top 5 in Sydney) and none of them actually wash their salad leaves. Imagine the pesticide residue still left on them.

I was left to my own devices as the breakfast chef decided to walk out of the restaurant and take the day off. No one gave me specific recipes to follow so I prepared my interpretation of the menu – I made my own version of corn fritters with avocado salsa and rocket, fluffy ricotta pancakes, cinnamon berry compote with Malibu liquor and French toast with dried fig and ricotta mix. When the executive chef came in, I could tell that he was impressed with my corn fritters because he finished the entire sample plate and asked for the recipe.

The genetic virtues of a chef

When you enter the commercial kitchen for the first time, you should know where the first aid box is because accidents happen all the time. One of the chefs noticed my really bad habit of holding my vegetables in the wrong manner and just as he was predicting my next cut while he was demonstrating the “correct technique”, he sliced the top of his finger with my knife. Suddenly my chopped white onions turned Spanish red. Which brings me to my thoughts on what kind of qualities should a great chef have - stamina, coordination, tastebuds, the ability to improvise and the gift of healing fast.

Batons: This vegetable cut is similar to Julienne, but cut thick like potato chips.
Using a mandoline or sharp knife, cut vegetables into sheets of the desired thickness. Trim to desired length. Cut crosswise to form batins of an even thickness and width.

Dice: Vegetables are perfectly cubed. Cut the vegetables into batons, leaving the pieces as long as possible. Cut across into squares to form the dice.

Turned: Vegetables cut in this method look like miniature rugby/footballs.
Cut the vegetables into pieces slightly larger than the desired size of the shaped vegetable. Using a paring knife, cut from top to bottom, making the ends slightly tapered than the middle.

I have rediscovered the magic of using bleach. My uniform gets stained with beetroot and it comes off after an overnight soak. At the rate that I am going with the stuff, I think I will have to start bulk-buying generic bleach. I have noticed that in every kitchen that I have worked in so far, the chefs wear the same brand: “Club Chef”. Does this brand have a monopoly in the chef’s uniform department? And the uniforms for women are not flattering at all. It’s as if a man designed the uniforms and instead of using a female model for his samples, he has chosen to fashion the pattern after a male midget.

"Don't touch my dick, don't touch my knife" Part I

Knives are like the extension of their owner’s penises. Everyone checks out each other’s equipment – the bigger they are, the more impressive. And nobody touches each other’s knives during work – “Don’t touch my dick, don’t touch my knife” attitude. It is the one thing that chefs will wash themselves and will not leave to the kitchen hand to clean.

Every chef supplies his/her own set of knives which makes sense because a good knife can cost about AUD$300, and because you spent so much money on it, you wouldn’t abuse your own knife. You would not simply throw it in the sink because it could damage the knife’s point and you’d make an effort to sharpen it regularly.

When the knife point is damaged, you can send it back to the manufacturer to get it re-tipped at a fraction of its cost.

The biggest sin for any chef is not to sharpen his/her knife regularly. You are inevitably punished for your laziness – blunt knives can’t cut as well and when you accidentally cut yourself (which you will in a commercial kitchen), the cut isn’t as clean when it happens with a razor sharp knife.

If you cut your hand, you have to wear gloves the entire day (until the wound heals) for hygiene reasons.

In the commercial kitchen, I realise that I have a 20-yr-old bad habit of incorrectly holding my food when I chop. My fingers are stretched out and not neatly tucked away. Yes, I need to improve on my knife skills and after this whole year, I aim to do so. I am currently using a 26cm Global chef knife and although it is light enough for constant cutting, you have to sharpen it more regularly than you would using a Shun knife.

I love big knives and I am always trying to upgrade in size. However, I found out that shops cannot bring in any knife longer than 30 cm because it would be considered a weapon in the Australian Custom’s perspective.